And Stil I´m not a cliché (the essay for BU)

Today, writing this essay for the twientieth time, enjoying every version. Six months ago without any dignity or career. On april the 20th everything was working exactly like it should be. I was the perfect candidate for a PhD. degree in Economics, with the perfect job to do it, and yet, with Diana. It was the peak of my emotional and intellectual cycle. I supposed that everything should stay that way (an economist should know that, if everything it´s working to well, the crisis it´s coming). And it was coming rapidly. A crisis on the emotional market blow away all my system. On a month lap I throw away my dignity (fortunately something that small it´s easy to recover), and the two life projects I had. Today I couldn´t be happier that those are on the trash.

On May 18th , after a nice and placid night at my home, Diana and I were taking breakfast in the living room. While we were talking about nothing, she begun to say about a life together that it wasn´t to be. I rejected that life, in a despicable way has to be said, when I told her that I was going to go away without her to my PhD. She talked about being tired fighting for a future that will never going to come, that she didn´t wanted to throw away her life with someone that sooner or later was going to leave. With all said, she decided to end the relationship. The second life project on the garbage.

With my emotional life devastated, it was a perfect time to concentrate on my work and to make the best PhD. applications that could come out from me. I was feeling really bad but life was getting better (the stock it´s not important what matters is the tendency), when it comes the second punch and the first life project away.
My current job demands a great deal of calculations wich it is used as a tool for economic policies implemented by the government, so my boss asked me to asses the most affected sectors by the dramatic valuation of the Colombian Peso. When I started to do this task with the help of two of my coworkers, I realized that I had not the passion they had for economics and specially for the tools of it. The first life project to the trash.

With all my projects gone, I had to make a stop and think about what to do with my life and reach some conclusions that worked well. The first conclusion I reached was that I have to make something that makes me so happy that I want to do it for the rest of my life. With this conclusion on my mind I started to search for all things that, even when I have no time, energy or anything, I still want to do it and still I am capable to find the time to do it. The only two things that reached those conditions are reading and writing. The happiness and exciting of a new book on my hands, the deliberately slowness on the reading to evade finish that book, the obsessive reading about any problem that affects human life until I have all the points of view I can found before I can sit and write something that is worth to be said. That´s what I want to do with my life.

I have been reading all my life, and writing for a great part of it. Still, I am a better reader than writer, and throw entire stories because it doesn't flow or because there is a paragraph that is poorly written. Nevertheless, I write and rewrite obsesselvy until the text I am working in has sense and communicates what must say, until it flows like it sohuld be.

Still, I do love economics. I enjoy thinking on economic issues and applying the knowledge I have on economic theory to explain problems that affect the day by day life of human beings. So, my expectation on the program in Business and Economic Journalism is that it will teach me how put into simple straight language the intrincate and sutil theories and problems, discover the stories behind the numbers not only in how the story develops the way it did, but why it developed that way.

For the past months I investigated, work in my writings, write a lot of new stories (I have published an article for El Tiempo1), and learned a lot about journalism, and I have absolutely no doubt that my passion for it, and for the tools it uses. However, I cannot regret of my past decissions, still I like to think as an economist, it gave me the tools to approach journalism on the way I have been doing it, and gave me some knowledge wich, if B.U. accepts me, will help me to become a great journalist.

There is a phrase that says “true glory consists in doing what deverves to be written [and] in writing what it deserves to be read”. I have never been identified with the first part of the phrase because there is no way to know if your actions are worth to be written. I know that, with the knowledge and tools you will provide me, I will capable of write what is worth to be read.

Sins And Virtues

Today, like always, i get an absurd idea (shit, I thought that this went away with the years). However this idea, promises to has some internal potential. Sins and virtues are the same. I´m not talking about the relativity of moral (i´m not that imbecil (at least not yet)). From the same point of view, the same person, the same moral, sins and vurtues are the same.

Sins, as our trascedent actions, defines who we are and inevitably becomes our virtues (like the great father who has has an completly evil son, or backwards).

This idea serves as the epicenter of the abortion i´m about to publish (and in two lenguages). Sins and virtues are the two faes of the same characteristics.